ANTS RANTS!!!

Candlesticks and Shelves

2011-10-03T00:34:00.000-07:00

"THIS SITE IS TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE DUE TO A BUG IN THE SYSTEM. NORMAL SERVICE WILL BE RESUMED ONCE A DEFINITIVE SOLUTION HAS BEEN FOUND"

Anthony Stevens

STOP SHOOTING THE MESSENGER

2011-09-03T07:20:00.000-07:00

There are days when you try to do something to just maybe put a little spark into someones life. Nothing onerous or demanding...Just a simple gesture to perhaps make them feel a little better. A nanosecond of civility in this mixed up, fucked up world we live in and try to call home........You dont have any agenda other than simple courteous behaviour based on something that was once shared. You wish them no ill in fact totally the opposite . You are aware they might already be hurting so you try your hardest to make sure that you do not inflict more anguish...You simply want to give them a moment of joy amongst the chaos...Once again to end up being the "Messenger" and we all know what happens to them......Why is it so hard in this really shitty world at times, to be just nice to another human being and they accept it as that...Something simply nice.....Are we all so fucking screwed up that no longer are we allowed to have any interaction without doubt,distrust, hidden agendas or false reasons for doing so...Have we been subject to so many negative experiences or people that we no longer, trust in anything or anyone we find around us. Either as a community or more importantly individuals.....For if this is how we are today then we are in such a sorry mess as to defy any logic.

I will continue to try and do the "right thing" in life when I am able for that is what I truly believe.....Though without doubt it is becoming increasingly harder and harder to do so....

COMET......."Live Electrical.....Get Shocked By Our Service"

2009-12-02T00:25:00.000-08:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

COMET......."Live Electrical.....Get Shocked By Our Service"

Now, for those of you whom graciously followed my rants in the past will have noted that for a while I have ceased my writings.

This has been for a number of various reasons though mostly because I needed to get a few matters at home in a quieter perspective than they had been for some time. This is now much calmer and serene and life is rosy in many ways once again...And what perfect timing it was!!!

After many months of saving, my daughter through her weekend job managed to amass enough money to buy the camera she had sort for such a long time....Ok Dad helped a bit.But hey it`s my daughter thats what you do....We duly entered COMET Electrical in Ashford Kent and there my little girl proudly purchased a Canon EOS 1000D Digital SLR camera.....We negotiated a good deal and included an Extended Warranty and Accidental Damage cover...She was over the moon and I also. Not just that she had the camera she so wanted but the fact she had learned that lesson that you sometimes have to save for things you want and not expect everything straight away. She had bought it and I new therefore she would appreciate it`s real value...

Sometime in the latter few days of October, my daughter noticed that the LCD display to the rear of the camera had a nasty crack in the glass..The camera was still fully functional but had the damage as said..Although it was a pity and unfortunate,we still had the comfort of knowing that cover for such an accident was held...On the 3rd November on behalf of my daughter I entered COMET Electrical in Folkestone on the Park Farm Estate and submitted the camera for repair under the warranty/cover ..I discussed the damage with a sales representative and more importantly the time frame that repair would take...My daughters Birthday is at the start of December and we desperately needed the camers back repaired prior to that date..If not we would hold onto the camera and wait until after the Birthday Party booked to submit for repair.

I was assured that without fail the camera would be back in time and had the 23rd November for the target date of return and that I would be notified of any delays to this. In addition I had a written statement upon my Customer Repair Document "CUSTOMER MADE AWARE OF MAX 28 DAY REPAIR PERIOD FOR CAMERA"..In effect they targeted the 23rd of Novemer but it may take a few days more but not over the 28 day Max limit given...I believed that this would be a binding contract and that indeed the camera would be back in good time for my daughter`s Birthday Bash..

Now it gets interesting..I get call from COMET (11th November) to say that although they have had my camera for 8 days, they need to have a written statement on how the camera was damaged. So I duly draught a letter and the same day drive back to COMET and hand over the letter...I again discussed the time frame and got assurances that the request for the letter would in no way delay the repair...Time passed and still no notification that the repair had been completed..So a little worried on Saturday 28th November (25days of the 28days max promised in writing) I again drive down to the branch and as the Customer Service Manager would not be in till much later, they took my details and promised faithfully that he would call me later.Did he call..???..Did he bollocks.....

So on Monday 3oth a day before the confirmed time frame for the camera return I again have to drive into Folkestone and seek out the camera....By a complete coincidence and I swear this is true.......When I approched the Customer Service Desk, there on top of some papers were the duplicate or store copies of all my letters, details etc...Just by chance the Service Manager was going to ring them..Up until this moment not once had it been chased.....He even cheerfully put the telephone on speaker so I could hear this last minute intervention....When finally someone at the other end was human and not a recording with options we were informed of the crappy news....Firstly that the camera had only been approved for repair on 25th November 22nd day after submission but more importantly that I would not get the camera before latter part of this week but probably well into the next at the earliest..Even though he had requested a "Rush " be put on it.....

As you can imagime after running around chasing COMET to pull their bloody fingers out and get the camera sorted...still no joy...I politely andIi mean politely requested that they perhaps provide me with a camera of similar ilk to use for my daughters bash....Not a chance...there was complete and utter refusal to assist in any manner shape or form..."We don`t do things like that Sir" and all manner of lame excuses.They had cocked up big time and we going to breach their terms and conditons following day if no camera was there.....Given the fact I had just been informed from the horses mouth that this was not going to happen I was somewhat annoyed to say the least but remained impeccably calm...As this young lad was unable to assist in any manner I then requested to speak to the Store Manager and seek redress that way.....Well, this was startling..Her name was Erica.(She had a real badge)..I explained again my predicamant and was met with utter indifference.....Yes she was sorry for what had happened.....Yes she was sorry we would not have a camera for my daughters party..Yes she was sorry that they were not going to have the camera back as under the written contract I had.....Yes she was sorry for many things...probably even the weather...But heres the rub my friends as I like to say......Was she going to do anything about it........Bollocks......Erica the Manager of COMET was not going to do anything..absolutely sweet FA...She reinterated the company policy."We dont do things like that sir"..They dont help out customers when they screw up!!!!!

Heres the rub.......what finally convinced me of their utter cotempt was the matter of when I stated to the Manager that in effect what she was saying was that the contract I had with them was worthless. Not worth the paper it was printed on.I had a contract but they were not going to honour it or assist me due to their errors...This also was met with derision as she replied in front of other customers who by now were getting interested in our little discussion." If you are going to put words into my mouth then I am leaving".....And ladies an gentlemen thats exactly what she did...Dear Erica simply buggered off....She just walked away leaving me with no camera ...no possibility of having a camera, nor any recourse available..

Well dear readers, as you are aware I am no shrinking violet and this had really got my dander up....I was simply pissed off to the enth degree...I therefore notified the Manger I would exercise my God given right to protest peacefully outside the store and with the freedom of speech enshrined in our way of life let every single customer entering COMET that day know exactly what had happened to me and the service I had received at the hands of some members of their staff...But readers I am no fool either....There are laws that protect both parties and that includes unhelpful and beligerent individuals..I knew that I could not harass any potential customers, that I must no block the entrance in any way and that I must not detract in any way from the truth of what happened to me or more importantly try to pursuade others not to buy either products or expensive additional insurance..Even COMET have a right to trade.

This I did with the utmost decorum and aplomb....I only addressed those that came towards me and never once "Chased" anyone to speak to them.I only spoke the truth and expressly stated that I would not wish them to beleive that they had desist from purchashing from COMET; only that they beleive what I had said to them to be an acurate account of the service and back up I had received...

I was met with and I mean without fail, nothing but total support.....Not one single potential customer walking into COMET had anything to say about how I had spoken to them in a negative light.They supported me totally and I even had offers of soup.....Sandwiches and warm drinks..And numerous offers to assist me in my protest.....But I explaine it was my gripe with COMET and unfair to ask others at this point to join me... Albeit extremely complimentary...I was also led to beleive that in addition some of these people entering the store asked why I was not getting a camera to members of the COMET staff and were concerned about how I had been treated....

This was the coldest day so far of the year (Or at least one of) in Folkestone and I was utterly freezing...As you can imagine I had not anticipated Peaceful Protest when I got up that morning..

Then it started....a movement from within...A burly chappie left the store and sternly notified me that the attacke dogs were coming ( My words not his)..COMET was so distressed that I might actually show them in a negative light (Um excuse me duh!!! That was the idea)..they had decided to call the police.......

Around thirty miunutes passed and as promised a squad car pulled up...Two officers approched me and very politely requested details of why, what and everthing about was I was doing or planned to do...Once again I minutely detailed the course of events and how I was running my one man protest against COMET. I detailed exactly how I was communicating with potential customers and that obviously I was aware of what I could and could not do...After interviwing me, they entered the store......Well again a big error from the Manager.. Instead of taking the police into a sheltered area of the store as would be befitting, she stood in the main entrance doors with the police which meant those entering the store had to walk around their little group to actually get in... This of course created a stir and lo and behold as I was stood outside in the parking lot those approching were asking ME of all people what was happening. All without any instigation from myself...This was priceless....Not only did I as stated put my case forward, I now had the added little detail of the police being summoned to potentially arrest and cart me away all initiated by COMET.......

COMET GROUP Plc had not only shit on hopes of a fun party for my daughter with photos being a big memory boost of the event..They had now tried to get the police to silence me from telling the world what and how they had acted.....I could not have orchestrated this better if I had planned it myself......Although I was compltely livid at their actions I intended to make the best of what was now getting a serious and potentially serious confrontation....With the Manager engaged in conversation, potential clients requesting why from me at first suggested a good result....I was although aware that perhaps I may have broken some laws by error and that indeed I would be arrested and carted off......After around 30+ mins the police left the store and approached me...Now, I was very nervous and worried that I may soon be heading into Folkestone but without me being the driver...The police again politely (I must admit these two officers were what can only be exemplary specimens of what we would expect police officers to be) started to detail what they had done in the store...They explained that they had spoken to the Manager and those concerned....That they had confirmed completely what I had said and that I had not been offensive or agressive to any member of staff (But I was f***ing mad as hell inside)...But, again heres the rub......They confirmed that they had watched me for some considerable time....Noted what I was doing and had even spoke to some customers to inquire as to how I had acted and what I had said etc.......The conclusion was almost enough make me a bit light headed........They instructed me that I was acting well within the Law and that I could continue with my peaceful protest and that this was a civil matter and not criminal in any way.......Well bugger me boys and girls.........Strike one for the little guy.I was in the right and had basically just shafted COMET for trying to be nasty little people who couldn`t take a bit of justified criticism...

Three points my friends....Basketball shot extraordinary from outside the D...They had been beaten in this first round Hook, Line and Sinker...

Problem was, I also knew that the land COMET had their premises on was not theirs and was in fact rented..I mentioned this to the police and the confirmed that they expected COMET to make contact with the landlord and try to pursuade him to ask me to leave.If a landlord, (Including myself as I own my own house) asks you to leave his or her premises and you dont it is know as Civil Trespass...If one does not comply then at that point you are breaking the law......I knew at some point this was probably what was going to happen..It did but it took until well after dark before the second squad car arrived.......These police officers were more direct and quite frankly intimidating....They immediately requested I leave....I refused as I was already aware that I had not broken any laws and repeated what their other officers had informed me......One officer threatened that he may have to issue me with what I think was a Section 27 notice(I may be wrong so please dont take this literally)...in addition to some sort of fine..

I asked under what crime and he informed me that the Landlord had requested they come and remove me....I was not aware that the police worked for the Landlord..That did seem strange..It did however sort intself out.When I explained what I was doing and that as yet the Landlord or any of his legal representavies had not requested I leave they refrained from doing anything and also confirmed that they had not actually seen me break any laws. Maybe they thought I had already received a request and not complied??

Then out of the blue, one of the officers passed over his Blackberry and said the call was for me...It was the landlords representaion Smith Woolley and Perry of Folkestone who requested I vacate the parking lot...I confirmed that I was going to comply and that I found it strange that they would have required me to leave when probably they would not have been made aware of the true facts......Or maybe it is a case of who pays the piper calls the tune...In other words..money talks...

So I get in my car........I have to spend 15mins with the heater on becaue I cant feel my extremeties at all....I have blisters on my feet from walking back and forwards for nigh 5 hours non stop.(Too cold to stop) And my neck, head and facial features are sore from being in the strong coastal winds all afternoon....The tough old bigger stuck it out though all the way......But and heres the rub again........I did what I set out to do...To let the public know as best I could just what lengths I was prepared to go to to ensure that we in this country do have rights to be treated with humility and respect when it is deserved...This day I deserved some respect from COMET and got a load of crap for my troubles for which I was not prepared to take .......They tried to use the already pressed police as attack dogs on me to protect their precious reputation. A reputation that with a bit of common sense and apology would have been enhanced some 5 hours earlier.....

I probably spoke in total over the 5 hours or so to around 170 -200 potential customers......I explained and acted within the law..Not one person ever complained and I received nothing but admiration and support.....To you out there that helped me many thanks...To COMET my disgust...I have spent thousands over the years with you and I mean thousands supplying my close and distant family with electrical items.......I will not set foot into another of your stores until this matter has reached the highest echelons of the COMET HQ in Hull and gotten sorted...I will ensure that until such time as it has, I will continue to vociferously notify all those that will listen of what I had to experience and let them make up their own minds on the validity of expensive additional policies and broken promises ....

3.00pm yesterday afternoon......I received a phone call from the Folkestone Branch.......By a miraculous turn of events my camera has been repaird and by special delivery (UPS) ready for me at the branch.....Without a doubt, strings were pulled people actioned and finally common sense had prevailed.......Why........thats easy...I had created such a shit storm for them that they had pushed and requested that the camera be delivered as they had promised...That hopefully the matter would vanish and all be forgotten........That my friends in not happening yet.....I was able to get a result only through extreme measures and a course of action that many would not be able to undertake..

The camera is incidental now....It has now become a matter of just how COMET are able to treat you with contempt and try to get away with it. I am a fighter, I have been all my life...Not all people are....Some simply cant anymore......What happens to them...........COMET you should be so ashamed of your policy.I dont blame the Manager or her staff directly, although they could have handled things better and been more on the ball relating to chasing the cameras progress. But and heres the rub again....They were only playing with the cards they were dealt with by COMET....COMET wont allow branches to provide cover of items when they themselves have messed up....I even got this confirmed in my verbal complaint to COMET HQ in Hull....COMET when you F**k UP make amends its that simple.... ........I expect compensation at the highest level for both myself and my daughter for what you have allowed to happen and for what we have had to endure over this last month...Incompetence, lacklustre service and downright beligerance to my predicament.And to the fact that only the most extremes of measures will get you to move in the right direction.

Thank you kindly as always to those that listen ..I will keep you informed honestly of any updates.....
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Nirvana....Only In Our Dreams Dear Friends

2009-08-18T02:52:00.001-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

I dreamt the News today......
That poverty was blown away....
Far Eastern towns let all men vote...
That freezing souls could have their coat....

That those of power share their aim..
Without the cynical appointing blame...
That those with power and in the know..
Seek not to kill or overthrow..

I dreamt the News today....
That famines end was on it`s way..
Food for all was within reach....
A loving doctrine for all to preach...

That those with power use it just..
Not let the system rot or bust..
That those with power take their turn...
Preventing that our earth should burn...

I dreamt the News today...
As all unite in single pray...
That conflicts end was within sight...
That long time enemies forgot their fight...

That those with power heard our voice...
And plainly acted on our choice..
That those with power beg to hear...
That we are pained to live in fear...

But I heard the News today....
No cheers of joy or shouts "Hooray"
A Military Pallbearer looks his best.....
Three Britsh Soldiers get laid to rest......

I heard the news today......

Thank you for those that took the time,
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A mouth full of size 8 trainer !!!!!

2009-08-14T13:09:00.001-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

Sometimes in life just when something nice happens and you feel that you think you know what to do..You just somehow manage to put your foot in your own mouth..The perfect own goal......

The case in point happened to me today....I had wanted to say something that I had hoped would have been received in a light that showed exactly how I would have wished something to proceed....I tried to communicate what I felt in a manner that was neither too distant yet at the same time certainly not overbearing or pushy.....Instead of waiting until the chance arose whereby I could translate what I wanted to say via a single note, letter or Email etc...I tried to express my thoughts via Twitter...Namely the "Direct Message" function within the programme.....What a complete disaster....Everything I tried to say ended up curt, innacurate, sloppy and even to myself a little forward and rude once I had read them back...AFTER sending them no less...

I had wanted to say how that I was pleased someone had taken the thought to make contact again.........That given the opportunity, I would have liked to continue from where a certain shingled beach moment had arisen......That to enable that other person to decide for themselves at their own pace, I would leave various means of contact...So that maybe at some point in the future IF they wished to say "hi" again they would be able to at their own discretion..........

I tried to limit this sensitive issue with several messages of no more than 140 Characters maximum.......Spaces, commas and full stops included etc....What a complete idiot.......I have other words for it but this is not one of my normal rants and as such feel that expletives are not necesssary.....

All I can say is that I am sorry if anything was mis-construde and that no offence was intended if taken....I would wish that I had expressed myself better and that my true sentiments could have been conveyed......I may well have failed on all counts......I do so hope not and that maybe....just maybe...through here, someone would look a little kinder on what I was really trying to say.....

If not then for that I have only myself to blame......Once again my apologies in any offence has been caused, it truly was not intended..

There is a lesson for us all methinks in this.........There are times when applications like Twitter,Facebook etc have their place.......But and I really do mean this....In matters that need a gentle delicate brush stroke.......They are not and will not, be substitutes for the beauty of unbroken prose......Where intention is clarified, where thought is purveyed and simply put you do not end up with "A mouth full of size 8 trainer"!!!.......

Thanks for being there as usual where ever you are......Goodnight to you all.
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Thank you my charming friend.......

2009-08-12T14:02:00.000-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

Well, after what was only a disastrous start to the day, I got to see my mate John.......he is the salt of the earth type.......Doesn`t take bullshit and tells it as it is.......A mans man and all the better for it....A very good partner and father and let no man say different in front of me....Funny thing, we discussed that subject today......Not saying detrimental things in front of others when that person they are knocking is their friend etc.......

Anyways, as I said the day was not a good day for me as matters of recent times seemed to weigh just a little too heavy.....I make no bones about it, I was in a shitty frame of mind......John and I talked.......chewed the fat and generally chilled....

As always I left him feeling just a little bit better....Enough to take the edge off my day.....I then went to see my Mum.....Bless her little cotton socks......Then back into town to pick up the daughter...Back home.....Loaded up the car with the Sea Kayak....drove back to Hythe.Dropped off little one at her Mums....(Yes another shitty moment)..Then down to the Imperial and unloaded the Kayak....

Nothing particular of note except a lone figure sat on the shingle taking in the solitude of the beach and the approaching dusk...As I passed, I apologised in case I had disturbed that special moment that can happen when one is just taking in the surroundings.......We exchanged cursory words and off I went into the sea like some schoolboy rushing into the swimming baths for the first time.......The sea was suprisingly rough considering the softness of the approaching sun set...

I spent around 30 mins in the high waves and surf and decided to come out for a drink of water..A bottle of which I had stored in my dry bag......I left the kayak just above the surf and walked up to around 2 metres above the tide line.......My lone figure was still watching the seascape in silence....Probably a little indelicately I sat nearby and just took in the air and enjoyed the moment of the view.......After a while we exchanged light conversation.....This progressed until we were in full conversation........This covered topics ranging from wines to recipes and our past relationships.......I will not be so crass as to cover those aspects of our dialogue....That was ours and ours alone.....But and heres the rub as I always like to say.......For the best part of an hour or so, we discussed details that I have have not mentioned only other than to a well chosen few.....We discussed parts of our lives that seemed so similar as to be uncanny.....The fact is I was suprised at my own lucidity...I felt so at ease as almost to be scary.....The lady in question if ever she falls upon these words would know it was her of which I speak without doubt....She was attractive, witty, charming and did not in any shape or form pre judge anything I said.......I felt relaxed and alive as I have not been in what seems a long while......We parted with first a gentle hand shake.....This became a hug and a warm gentle friendly goodbye...........At that moment it was if I had known this person for years..

I have no idea on earth whether I will ever meet this lady again......I have no idea if I will share a conversation in such a spontaneous manner again under such Kismet type conditions......The fact is I do beleive that fate does play a large part of our lives and as such I leave it as such........But , and heres the rub again......Even if I do not meet my charming stranger again, I can say that she has restored the faith in myself that I have to some degree lost in recent times......My charming friend has made me realise that maybe I am not such a bad guy after all..........My charming friend, for that is who she now is.......Has made me realise that maybe just maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel and not the train hurtling towards me as maybe I thought......So this night I go to bed with just a little more confidence that I had before.......I bade my friend a goodnight indeed and hope that given the opportunity we may again commence our conversation from whence we left it........

I hold no illusions about anything, being a pragmatist that I am....Though I can say that everyday begins with a new dawn......Maybe tomorrow I will have mine.....Thank you my charming friend..

Once again thank you to those who let me indulge my limited literary skills by following my Rants where ever you may be.....
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Game, Set and no match anymore

2009-08-11T08:43:00.000-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

Some mornings, as any parent would know of a 17 year old offspring can be different, indifferent or downright catastrophic.....No logic as to why any of those conditions might appear...Suffice to know that they do..

Today was as any other only in that my little darling was due to take her Driving Theory Test..This was to be held in Canterbury and the usual strop of sorts started within moments of rising... After much ado about nothing, we arrived in time at the right place and in generally good spirits.....As it happens, it continued in that vein as she passed with relative ease apparently...Return to Folkestomne in time for midday.....I then shot to the gym for a strenuous hour which normally would have taken place at 7.15am...After which I return home for lunch...

Then without much warning I started to think of recent events concerning Colette, family and other matters of the heart shall we say....What a downer.....You love and adore someone for so long, that trying to accept that they no longer feel the same way is quite astoundingly painful....I am sure that those who have felt this way, know only too well of what I speak.......For those that are lucky enough never to have felt this, then I pray that you never will.....You find you have given so much to one person that they take such a large part of you when they leave......That emptiness is just simply full of despair...Why do I wear my heart on my sleeve on this blog ......Well thats easy......I could try to convince all that with a macho attitude....I don`t care...Or that I say "Good Riddance".etc etc etc.......But heres the rub.....Why on earth would I want to kid others or try to kid myself that I did not truly love this woman...Yes it hurts like buggery...But it will get better.....It always does........I will move on and hopefully meet someone who will accord me the love and affection that maybe I deserve......Who knows???....As I said, all this came out of the blue and caught me very much unprepared...I cannot explain why it does, only that it does and makes you utterly broken...There is no logic or pattern that I can discern....

This eased a little and I ate lunch with my daughter. Then I was reminded that we had planned a simple tennis game in Hythe........Just a knock about for an hour or so......Lunch duly digested, off we went....The sun came out almost straight away and turned up the heat.......We played for a while and all in all it was enormous fun.....

But heres the rub as there always is.......Towards the latter part of our hour, I was reminded of the times when all three of us would do the same...Taking turns against each other......Still in the same manner of a simple knock about, but all together...Those times were fabulous and all for the cost of a few pounds.......Then, due to one attempt at hitting a low ball I was also reminded of the many squash matches that myself and Colette played....We always played for fun but with a degree of competitiveness even so...I just adored the two of us on the court........Funny, I can only remember in detail the time I was hit in the face by Colette....Separation can put a new slant on past activities.....We played quite a few times and I always always enjoyed it........I miss our life together, it was so all encompassing that at the moment I am empty....I have an enormous void to fill which will be slow..........I want to rush to reduce the pain but I don`t know how...I want to move on but I can`t whilst I still have these memories so fresh......So as far as squash goes......"Game, Set and no Match anymore".
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,Once again thanks for your time....whom so ever you are,

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As always when we said goodbye it just meant "A Bientot"

2009-08-09T04:12:00.000-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

From earlier Rants, it would not have escaped your notice that I am now separated from my long time partner Colette who left in May of this year... My daughter and I still to this day do not really know the reason, although painful recent events have taken place that maybe give indications as to why.

Now, one of my sayings, which I truly beleive with all my soul will always be for me paramount..."Wealth does not a family make......but when you lose one the cost is unbearably high"....Maybe due to my own rather irregular upbringing, I treasure the sactitity of family (I never really had one)...I have without doubt made my own errors in trying to mantain my own .....Obviously the proof being that Colette left......Though, I tried as best I could and hopefully with another partner I will be able to try again...What mistakes I made, I am not sure of yet....Hopefully one day I will have the light shed upon those errors and make corrections if possible.

What this is bringing me too, is the fact that others within my extended family on Colettes side do feel the same in many aspects. Yes Colette and I have parted, albeit acrimoniously, but the family has not closed ranks...These are people who have eaten at my table and shared everything with me for many many years and we are friends....Therefore it was with great pleasure that they came over and spent 3 days as my guesst..The young newly married couple Eric and Christine, Bruno and his daughter (mentioned in other Rants) and Karine, also with her daughter.

The house was well prepared in advance and all arrangements made.They arrived and for the duration of the visit the atmosphere was relaxed calm and amusing... I have watched Eric (Nephew in all but paperwork) grow up from a toddler....He is now 27 and his bride Christine is simply lovely. They have already been guests in my home before..The previous occasion was when we had a little house warming party in 2007....That time was different, in that Bruno who also arrived was with his now estranged wife and of course Colette and I were still a couple....The photos of that visit are hard to look at for the moment...but time will heal this I am told...

We played Belote and although in many ways it was not the same as when I have played with Colette, it was still nice to relax and just chew the fat so to speak..We ate and drank copiously as I wanted all to have a good time...My rather rich and truly sumptious Bolannaise (Lean beef,lots of herbs and Olive Oil) went down a treat for the first evening..Being prepared in advance allowed a chilled ambiance with eating at leisure. Of course it was delightful that they had brought some additional red wine which also vanished De rigueur ....We ate much to much the second evening with Raclette and a large helping of Charcuterie alongside.We finished Friday off with a Bar-B-Que (Home made Burgers with relish,chicken etc) and various side salads. In addition, as I left early each morning to go to the gym (6.45am) I was able to return with fresh bread and croissants for 8.00am.... Where we all sat and ate a hearty fattening, yet glorious breakfast each morning. Loads of freshly brewed coffee to help it descend.

Though, normally I would have a Rant about something on this blog I can`t really say I have anything to gripe about the visit itself......It was really a lovely time...The children added extra life to the house as they always will....The topic of conversation did of course sometimes wander to include Colettes departure....That was probably mostly down to me although not always...Some of it I found hard to take, or worse to remember without a lump in my throat and held back tears more than once...Though all in all it kept a balance.....We discussed the future in the same light as we discussed the past.....

But heres the rub as there always is......When all had been said and done and we had left the beach for the final time as I got trounced in a friendly fishing contest.......When the last cup of coffee had been finished and the last crumb of Apple Tourte had been swallowed......As the last trick of Belote had been lain and the last childish laughter had been heard...There is always a price to pay....Saturday morning just came too damn quickly and as I came downstairs...No coffee needed to be made........No croissants needed to be fetched......No Baguette and jam was to be eaten....The kitchen was empty......And as my daughter gently slept late before she herself left for work later that morning.....The reality came back all to quickly....There were brief moments when they were here that I forgot just for a moment the reality of my own position...That for three days I had for the most part not thought of early May...When finally that came home it did so with avengence and with it the dark clouds I have felt for some time...Nothing in life is free apparently, and as such I also have to pay .......

Was it worth it.....Of course, they are family and eventually my own pain will ease as it does day by day and they will still be there for other times such as these.....It just reinforces my ethos that we all need a family of sorts.....Those that seek to break or deny others that right are cruelly denying themselve the beauty and simplicity of close ones around them...If I have failed Colette as a partner, then for that I must take responsibilty..... I have done so by all accounts as she chose to leave....The family I had is no longer as once was...That does not mean that my attempts to keep us together and provide as best I could were wrong...Only that I failed in my endeavours.......In effect, what I was doing was right........though maybe how I went about it got lost somewhere along the way.......

All I can do is say thank you to my friends and family for their company and look forward eagerly to out next encounter....As always, we parted with open invitations for the future as we have always done...As always, we left with the sense of sadness that these reunions give once they are over...As always, as we hugged it was with a deep sense of commitment and affection....As always when we said goodbye it just meant "A Bientot".

Once again thanks for taking the time to read my little Rant whomsoever you may be..

Till the next time.
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Just another kick in the Gonads.....But Worth it

2009-08-02T12:34:00.000-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

You know there are moments that sometimes just defy all common logic..When everything seems to be for once going your way...The day seems that little bit brighter and just for a while thoughts are not engaged furiously about my recent split with Colette.....

I have managed to decorate completely two bedrooms with fairly decent results.......I have transformed the garden into something worth sitting in on a sunny day......I have even built a new side gate of which I am very proud.....I have paid that long awaited visit to the tip disposing of rotten timber that had the wait been any longer would have resulted in a pile of coal....

I even washed and jetted down the terrace so that the original colour of the stone is now visible....Everything was more or less going my way...ish....

Now heres the Rub....I was cleaning and polishing my sitting room which is where I keep the PC/printer etc...I thoroughly made sure all was spick and span..I delicately wiped the TV screen and carefully replaced some cd`s back in their cases....I then noticed that the bottom drawer of the PC desk was protruding a little....I tried to push it in.....It would not budge.....I pulled it out to see if anything had fallen down the back....Sure enough the was a multitude of items.....1 pencil sharpener,1 cable extension,1 Ipod charging cable and 1 SD card 32MB...and about a ton of dust and cats hairs etc.....I duly placed the items back in the drawer from whence they came and kept the SD card for last.......

I was actually mildly excited as to what I may have found.......I duly placed it in the card reader and waited for XP to let me open the files........It was at this point that my heart,lungs,and every other organ I had sunk.......I was totally floored with emotion and felt quite nauseous....

The SD card contained around thirty photos that had been taken New Years Eve 2007 into New Years Day 2008...They were of the party that Myself,Colette and our daughter had gone to in France...We had stayed with Bruno and his wife Giselle whom also has left her husband since this get together....This party had sisters,children,husbands,partners and mothers all having what can only be described as a fabulous time.....I remembered each detail as I went through the photos slowly........It was like some horrific car crash.......I was devastated to look at them yet unable to look away.....The pictures had been taken by my daughter and although I remember seeing them after our return..I had forgotten of their existence...Both myself and my daughter take thousands of photos between us every year...Gigs, family, nature..anything that seems a good shot at the time..Sometimes these memories fade until prompted.......

What is so hard to accept is that the photos are just beautiful...They are so so crisp. Barring one or two they are perfectly in focus....Some of the lighting is sublime.......They are just simply a lovely collection of what was a family having a really good time....Never again will the same people meet in these circumstances again.....Forget parties etc........Those present at that time will never congregate together for any reason at all.....It was only months after these had been taken that the threads of marriage started to break..They slowly unravelled and in doing so unravelled everything associated with those bonds.....The final straw being the departure of Colette early May of this year...(3 months exactly today...happy anniversary?????)

The photos include shots of laughter, pure stupidity, friendship and of tenderness.....They show those that I cared for and adored in their finest hour....They show the elderly content in the knowledge that they are witnessing their offspring enjoying themselves to the full......They show what every family wishes for......The love and affection that is amongst them and the security that is brought with it.....Just for a moment all the cares and woes of the world had vanished.....The belief that the New Year was again upon us and although that had merit and was the initial reason for us being together...It was not that, that had brought us together.......It could have happened any time.......It was family being family.....We have had many a moment like that over the last quarter of a century but this was to have been the last......This was to have been the most poignant..This was to be the most memorable purely for the memory of being the final chapter on a lifetime of family interaction.....But heres the final rub my distant friends......I have taken the kick to the Gonads yet again.I have received the size ten boot to the testicles and been floored.....My tiny pecker pummeled into submission for the umteenth time........

But I swear to you all......I would gladly take the kicking again and again and again........For I know that on that one night, as a family it did not and would not have ever gotten better........It was simple yet complex.......It was boozy yet very sober.......We danced yet time stood still.....That night I had my family intact..That says it all really does it not????

Good night to you all as it is late....Thank you sincerely if you follow...
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Is Anyone Really Out There...??????

2009-07-23T03:25:00.000-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

One of the great benefits of starting and maintaining a blog is the sense of liberation that it can give yourself. I can within reason and without impunity say basically what the hell I like......I can criticise from afar and express feeling and emotions without allowing that in some way I am making myself vulnerable. Permitting others to see and hear your sentiments at close range can promote a sense of foreboding yet from a distance makes things so much easier.

I have no problem from this distance letting all and anyone know of the horrible life I seem to be residing in at the moment...Since my separation with Colette, each day just trudges by and just seems to bleed into the next...I am slowly getting there, but I can see no pattern as to what or how I can improve the situation...My daughter is fabulously robust and we are both aware of the feelings we have regarding our situation and strive to make the best of what we have....Each moment we share together endeavours to be one of amusement or enjoyment and had undoubtedly brought us closer together...We are survivors...We have found a new level of closeness that being in the same situation can bring..But heres the rub....No matter what I do at the moment, I just can`t get it out of my mind that normally I would have been doing it with someone I loved dearly........Namely Colette.......

Case in point...I took daughter and her young man bowling in Ashford last evening....She just looked beautiful and so happy and content and I have never felt so proud of what she has grown up to be......It was great fun barring one soul destroying aspect and I mean it was really hard to control.. I kept turning round to talk to Colette by impulse and she wasn`t there.....I just had to walk away and go to the bathroom for fear that I might be visible in my emotions..Those are the times when I have no control over what I feel...

It is always the small matters that matter the most...The incidences where my mind wanders and forgets all to painfully that we are no longer a family...I have been besides Colette for over a quarter of a Century and my whole being is conditioned to seeing her alongside us..I loved dearly this woman and in giving myself totally to her in some way my ability to let go is just not ready yet...Apparently this is perfectly normal and will in time get better.......But heres the rub.......I don`t want to forget or have the life we shared watered down in some faded memory..You see I adored the life we had.Make no mistake about it we had a good life and shared some simply amazing times.......Just maybe not good enough in the end for her....

The dilemma is simple I suppose.....I know that to let go and start again, I need to do exactly that....Let the memories fade so that they do not become painful when I do think of them...To allow them to become a little blurred so the full intensity is not felt enough so as to cause hurt...In effect I have to some degree learn to partially forget..This, I suppose is what moving on means...I am not sure, just my interpretation of what it is for me....The simple theory that if I forget a little then I move forward a little...How do I forget a little.......Time....Time has always been the great healer and no doubt will assist me in my quest for a better emotional state that I am at present...Oh dont get me wrong...my life trundles on the same and everything gets done and I have restarted the gym 4 times a week as before etc....I do everything that needs doing and amongst many things black, I also have some very good moments to assist as a balance...

I am impatient I suppose to a lesser or greater degree as well......I want it to be a year`s hence...Hopefully I may have had someone in my life for a while and life is seemingly looking clearer..I want to have an outlook that says I may actually have found someone with whom I can spend my life with...To be in a position where I dont reach across the bed half asleep in the morning.Then feeling so empty and desolate because I find that there is no one there and the other pillow is cold..That the lovely dream of us doing something as a family is so cruelly shattered upon opening my eyes.......These are the moments that I cannot control.......I cannot have a say in what I dream about therefore the reaction in the morning is out of my hands as well.........A cruel predicament but no doubt one that many many have had too endure equally before....I am learning to cope but in a feild of which I have no knowledge..There is no formulaic answer that will cure what I have...No panacea that will assist in an instance........But heres the last rub and reason for Ants Rant today........

Maybe it is quite simply that I am not quite ready to use the dimmer switch.....Why would I wish to try and partially erase the life we had??....In time I will learn to adjust and deal with issues as they arise...But maybe just maybe I want hang onto them a little longer.......

Maybe the moments of utter sadness are worth it for the beautiful feeling that I can have remembering the past..That gloriously lovely moment that happens just a split second before I am overtaken by total grief upon remembering the present...I hope your future bodes well for you Colette...Me, I`m still trying to enjoy what I had...I may as well.....it wont be around for much longer.....

Thanks for being out there whoever you are.....
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It`s only A Card Game... Right?????

2009-07-17T23:05:00.000-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

As it obviously pre-occupies my time and thoughts at the moment to a greater or lesser degree, my recent separation with my long time partner has shed new light on many aspects of my life in general past and present.

Family life takes form in many different ways depending on where you are in the world. Although, I have found that it is basically the same no matter where when you take off the thin outer layers. Being French, Colette was raised in an environment that is full of social understanding. Their idea of family life is different from ours in so many ways yet the same in others. They do though, have one thing slightly different and I feel all the better for it. It is the simple piece of furniture the "Table"......Go into any French house for a drink of coffee,beer or any social event and straight away you find yourself around a table...Coffee in the morning, sandwich at lunch time or a formal gathering like a Baptism.The kitchen/living room table is always the focal point.......

In families all over France it is also used for one important society building task......The game of Belote.......A card game using a deck of 32 and involving making tricks.....It is a 4 player game with two teams North,South/East, West......I wont go into the intricacies of the game, as that is irrelevant..What is pertinent though is the standing within the French family culture that is has. Whilst it is being played, conversation about any subject on the planet takes place.....Deals are struck, bonds made and agreements reached all over a simple card game....When family gatherings are large..Christmas, birthdays etc there is fierce albeit friendly rivalry to see who is going to play..Especially if the opportunity for only one game at a time is allowed.......On these occasions the cards are dealt one at a time to all those wishing to play until the four kings have been shown..Those who have the Black kings will play together and the Red kings the same. The winners will then play another pair later and so on etc. These four humans will interact for around 45 minutes or so depending on what score is set as the winning total to start with. The others not included, will go elsewhere and talk about other things...Multiple conversations buzzing around a household.It is a fabulous thing to watch and even better to be a part of......Trust me I have been doing this for quarter of a century and there is nothing on earth like it...Members of distant family can appear at the door and although you have never met them,45 minutes later you have a friend for life..Children learn from an early age through watching their parents...They are also learning vital social skills that we so lack at present in this country...If one part of the family is having problems it can be resolved over a quick best of three....The social fabric of France has been maintained and developed over this easy to learn game of cards.

For my own part, It enabled me as an Englishman Abroad to be accepted totally by all my inlaws. I have played Belote whilst I lived there extensively... Every visit since living back in the UK, I have nearly always played at least a couple of times..We discuss what has happened since our last visit over these 32 cards.....Colette and I have played so many games as partners as to beggar belief...Sometimes I have partnered others against her and the rivalry has been amazingly taught yet so gentle and friendly...We shared many beautiful moments by doing nothing more than having a better hand to play with than the other.....

But heres the rub and the reason for my Ants Rants todays......Colette`s sister is also separated from her husband and between the four of us you had the greatest two teams for Belote I ever played amongst...Bruno`s house was special in so much as it was the pivot for most family gatherings..Both sides of the family would use it as a place for all to meet..I have had so many happy times inside his house that without the thousands of photos taken, I could never recall them all..Sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts, Mothers, etc......all have been invited to the great congregation.....That though, is one cause for malaise that I have....Bruno now has his house but no wife and I the same..There will be gatherings, but nothing as we once had..I recently visited him and found the atmosphere different..It was a passing of an era..Of course I will play Belote at some point but nothing in the way I used to......I will still have conversations around a table but nothing in the way I used to. I will still sometimes go to family gatherings but nothing in the way I used to..........

But heres the rub again.......For both of them,the girls, it will be the same....Neither will they feel what I have felt ever again..An episode of my life and theirs has come to a close and we are so much poorer for the fact. Why they left I have no idea really.......Probably simply because they reached that time in life when they thought they could find greener pastures on the other side......maybe they will, maybe not. But in doing so they have destroyed not only a part of their lives forever and that of Bruno and myself but an irreplaceable part of social interaction amongst their family. Bruno`s house was fortunate to be placed conveniently for everyone...It was small enough to be cosy yet big enough to accommodate all. It was the Church, the Sunday school Hall, the Local Youth Centre the Cafe and the bistro...It was a place that all were welcomed and treated with love and affection....Our separation, has separated so much more.....Another chain in French society has been broken..Another family becoming disjointed as so many other families are doing so. (We are so ahead of France on this as to be scary) Another piece from the fabric of human interaction lost....There are sadly many things that still make me spontaneously burst into tears for no apparent reason....But heres the final rub my friends.........At least if do so when thinking of memories from playing Belote with Colette or members of her family; I will do so knowing full reason why...I truly will..

But after all is said and done,hey what the F**k do I know.........."It`s only a Game of Cards cards...Right??? "
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Thank God It`s Friday.......I think???

2009-07-17T01:55:00.000-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

Well what can I say other than it`s Friday again and it`s been a really shitty week which ever way I look at it...As you may have seen already I had the pleasure of going to the Oasis gig at Wembley Stadium. The sheer delight of watching my daughter and her nice young man thoroughly enjoy themselves....Yes I also found it uncontrollably depressing but hey......One of my rare qualities is the ability to get back up no matter how many times I get kicked in the bollocks..And make no mistake about it, I have been taking a few well aimed shots to the Gonads over the last 2 months or so.Those who have followed my first early Twitter comments and some of the blogs on here will be aware why.

But my friends heres the rub..as I like to say.......Nothing could have prepared me for the total bollock bashing I got over the weekend.......My weakness, if that be the word, is that I still in my heart of hearts where possible, believe that honesty can prevail...I truly believe that even though I may stray from that path myself sometimes, in the end it will always be the saviour of us as a species........Profound no.Just some old guy having a rant......

As a consequence of this, I find that I am unable to really land the killer blow that I would like in relation to my long term ex partner.......There are days I wake up and my sole aim for the day is to seek vengeance on a scale that would make any Klingon proud. "Revenge is best when served cold" or something near that. I have the capacity to wipe her career virtually of the map, to ensure that her profile as a person is destroyed all in a matter of minutes......Well actually around 7 mouse clicks.(I know I counted).....Nothing would involve untruths or mailicious gossip just pure facts.........

Now heres the rub......I just simply cant do it!!!!..........I do not have that nasty bitter engrained cruelty inside of me......Because I have this bloody stupid belief that good will overcome evil in the end if you see what I mean.....I enjoy getting up in the morning and looking at an albiet wrinkled 49 year old and seeing a man with a modicum of dignity in the mirror......I like to get washed in the morning knowing that when I leave the bathroom I am clean both inside and out.............I would like to think that if and when I eventually meet another young lady (Hey I can wish can`t I) that during our conversations I can tell her absolutely everything about me. Even in their most intimate detail with total honesty.........I will not have the compulsion to lie or deceive or bend the truth for fear that they will find out my true colours.........That I will not spend the rest of my life being unfaithful to myself or others.......I can simply just be me without fear of being caught out or having to compond lie after lie after lie for my whole life.......All the faults, all the creases, all the pains and the good open for all to see........

Why all this Ants Rant???? What is it that drives me to want to hit the keys and use the 7 mouse clicks you ask....................Well here the rub again..............Due to the fact that I feel compelled by my conviction to resist the temptation to tell you, I must refrain.........It is simply driving me F**cking mad.........If I told you all, it would make perfect sense and would probably get 100% approval if I did hit the 7 clicks....It even appeals to me like you cannot imagine......But to tell you would deny me the opportunity to look at myself in the mirror each morning the way that I would like..Or more importantly the way I would wish my daughter to look at me..The idea that she would feel that I was lacking in judgement on this issue would be worse...This is my dilemma.....".To be or not to be.........A right dirty lousy shitty little bastard that is the question"......

Heres the penultimate rub for today........My daughter and I got humiliated by my ex in the most astoundingly vicious cruel manner, in front of what have been my family and friends for such a very long time.We were due to go to a wedding as a family but due to separation I refrained from going. This was to prevent hardship for the Groom whom I have watched grow up from the days when he wore shorts...The pain we immediately felt was so utterley degrading and brought a desolate empty feeling to my soul the like of which I will never feel again. A part of me was ripped out so fast and so hard as to take my very breath away. Please God if you exist dont let that happen again.
I did not go as my ex was to be present and confrontation with her is always unavoidable in these circumstances....Again I tried to do the right thing.......
Instead, my daughter went to work for the day and I cleaned out the chickens........We found out the extent of what had happened Monday of this week.(We were not at home during the Sunday due to Oasis gig)....

Never in my life will I ever face humiliation like that again purely because it is one of those events that even if it happened identically or worse a second time, it would never have the same impact.......Neither I nor my daughter will ever forget........She the little darling, acted with the utmost aplomb and the moment will fade but not be forgotten......I on the other hand will always remember in great detail and carry it with me for life.....The hurt I felt inside at the news given to me was quite unexpected and caught me totally off guard.My mouth has never felt so dry and my head was light for a few minutes.....What the hell had I done to deserve this for Christ`s sake.

I have this compunction to just let both barrels fly and let the world really know the score....To unleash what would be total despair on someone who of late has given me nothing but sustained disquiet..I ache every day and I am sick of the knife getting twisted more and more ........To quite simply put it again.........ruin another persons life intentionally as an act of revenge.....I hurt, I burn with anger I cry our in despair at my total impotence ( No not that sort.....Little it may be but it fires live rounds)........I am screwed for eternity as I just cannot do it......I gave my word, my bond my self worth put on the line......And why am I so F**cking unbelievably mad about this.............Well heres the final rub .....She always knew and will always know that I am a man whom to a great degree, truly believes in all the Great British Stiff Upper Lip Bollocks we hear from a yester year period... So lacking in today`s society.......

But, and heres the rub.......There is of course another reason my dear friends why I will never attempt to crucify Colette.....And that again is very simple.......She was my world, my life, my object of desire for over quarter of a century and I cannot ignore that.I loved that woman with all my worth. I tried to make my nest the best I could for her, I tried to make what I thought was something warm and tender for her to share in...

From what I remember Colette it was simple..... When you were cold I gave you warmth…….When you were hungry I gave you sustenance…….When you wanted shelter I gave you a home…When you had problems I solved them …When you were ill I nursed you better......And when you weren`t expecting it I placed flowers on the table to let you know I loved you.....I was a partner, a father, I was your friend and I really believed your soul mate… In the end, I have to accept, that it was not something I was good enough at doing. To accept, that after all this time, what I had felt was not reciprocated. To accept that no matter how hard we try, sometimes it just isn`t good enough. To accept finally that we lost.

I`m totally screwed and I think I am starting to know it.
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Oasis, A Lonely place to be!!!

2009-07-13T03:04:00.000-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

You know how sometimes in life things just don`t work out no matter how good the situation looks to others.
I have, without doubt, just been to what for me was one of the best live concerts I have seen. Yet sadly at the same time it was by far the worst I will hopefully ever have to endure .

Let me explain……We arrived at Wembley Stadium (Myself, daughter, and her young man) and got in line fairly close to the front of the queue and waited. Just prior to gates opening we were informed that their was a “Golden Circle” and that around a thousand from our queue and the same from around the other side of the Stadium would be allowed in. After that, all others would be in the normal general standing area. Well guess what sweeties???.We got into the Circle and found that it was not very big and was very close to the stage even when at the back. What a fabulous result. My daughter was over the moon to say the least. Oh and all the photos I took myself are mine so HANDS OFF.

Let the music begin...Reverend and the Makers opened up the Oasis Wembley Stadium gig on Sunday 12th July 2009. They were tight well rehearsed and competent running through some lesser known tracks and the few crowd pleasers. Following on from this was The Enemy who also performed well. Much better than when they supported The Stereophonics at the Wembley Arena a couple of years ago.
Kasabian were next and just played out of their socks and showed the crowd just how good they are live…Then of course came Oasis with all the swagger that you would expect. Hit after hit and all with consummate ease and pure professionalism. Which is why they are so big. So all in all a great musical live spectacle and I have to say I have seen most of the worlds biggest bands. Metallica, Muse, The Foo Fighters, The Police, Linkin Park, The Killers, The Cure, Clapton and the list just goes on and on…I simply love live rock music….This concert was without doubt one of the best I have been to. Not just for the mix of the support acts but the crowd atmosphere was electric. As they say everyone was “Up For it” ….

My daughter brought her young man as stated and they got themselves right to the front of the “Golden Circle” up against the barrier. Liam and Noel were about 20 feet away for them when they came on stage. All the tracks she had wanted to hear got played and I even got a great photo of her being filmed on the giant screens either side of the stage. That was a real coup for posterity especially as her boyfriend is in the shot as well…..

To top it off, at the end of the gig Liam jumped down and walked along this front line of spectators of which my daughter was one and bugger me if she didn`t get Liam`s white hat handed to her by the great man himself…….Yet again my daughter gets the memorabilia from another gig. She always and I mean always manages to get something big from a gig……“Set list” from Clapton at The Albert hall, On stage with McFly, drum sticks, picks, signed tickets etc from other bands. She always has the uncanny ability to get a great souvenir. Good for you girl!!

Well why such a sad event you may well ask…..Actually it was horrendous…..I had so much pleasure watching my daughter and her man enjoy the concert and that was priceless….Making the concert what it was …..

But here’s the rub……I had originally bought 4 tickets….They were of course for myself, my daughter and a friend and at the time for my partner Colette who subsequently left my daughter and myself after 26 years together.

I had in fact just watched one of the greatest musical spectacles from the back of the “Golden Circle” at Wembley Stadium. Why so sad???. Well easy really. I had no wish whatsoever to keep my little one and friend chained to my side. They are young and need to breath…..Let them go enjoy themselves and good luck to them. All this meant is that I never said one word to anybody for around 7 hours other than a cursory nod. I have always been to gigs with Colette and it was just so sad to be their on my own without anyone to share it with. I will never forget how marvellous it was for my daughter and the joy it brought to her and to me in that sense. But also the horrible empty feeling I had for hours and hours being in such a large crown yet feeling so alone…….

Life can be a real shit sometimes…..Can it not???

Thanks for your time my unknown friends

Just a load of Bollocks.Honestly!!!

2009-06-18T05:59:00.000-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

Around 2,100 men are diagnosed in the UK each year with Testicular Cancer which can be very successfully treated in 95% of cases.

If you have any signs or symptoms of testicular cancer then you must go to your doctor who will carry out a few tests to make an accurate diagnosis.

Now this is all very well boys and girls except for one major issue….Most of us guys just do not grab our neither regions and examine them for irregularities. Yes, we do all sort of weird and wonderful things with our gonads admittedly, but proper regular examination is not one of them.

The most convenient time to examine yourself is while taking a shower or bath. The warm water causes the skin to relax, making the examination of the underlying issues easier.

Now the gory bits(Not for the squeamish)..Yes it`s a Penis, John Thomas,Willy,Knob Percy or whatever you wish to call it.)

Examine your testicles. Slowly roll each resticle between the thumb and fingers. Try to find any hard, nonsensitive lumps.

Examine the epididymis for lumps. This crescent-shaped cord is behind each testicle. This area is tender so do not be alarmed.

Examine the VAS, the sperm-carrying tube which extends from the epididymis) of each testicle

If you find a lump attached your testicle, don’t panic. You still only have a 1 out of 300 chance of it being testicular cancer. The lump can be caused by different conditions, such as:
Hernia
Testicle injury
Hydrocele
Orchitis
Also keep in mind; if the lump is unattached to the testicle, it is more then likely not testicular cancer.

But, unless you feel yourself up a bit or better still get your partner, wife girlfriend or boyfriend for that matter to do it for you.You will never find out until possibly it is too late..Look there is no point trying to hope that everything is all right.The world is full of graveyards with people who thought it wouldn`t happen to them. Had they detected the problems in the early stages they would have stood a far far greater chance of survival….

There are two main types of testicular cancer:
seminoma, and
non-seminoma

The terms seminoma and non-seminoma refer to the type of cell that makes up the cancerous tumour. Seminoma testicular cancers only contain seminoma cells. Non-seminomas may contain a variety of different cancer cells. However, both types of testicular cancer are treated in a similar way.
Testicular cancer is also a type of germ cell cancer. A germ cell cancer is one that starts in the cells that are used to make sperm or eggs (ovarian cancer is another type of germ cell cancer).

Factors affecting your choice of treatment:-

Surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy are all used to treat cancer of the testicles. You may have just one treatment or a combination. The doctor plans your treatment by taking into account the type of cells the tumour is made up of (teratoma or seminoma), and whether the cancer has spread beyond the testicle.

Recently there's been a lot of progress in treatment for testicular cancer. Most men are completely cured even if the disease has spread beyond the testicles when it is diagnosed.

So, as can be seen, it is not rocket science to keep an eye on what is happening down there. All it takes is a few minutes once a week whilst playing submarines in the the bath.Or if you take a shower.....Have a good feel, though be gentle...I know we dont talk about these things but some things should be said.

So ladies make sure you man takes a grip of himself at least once a week.

Just A Smear Campaign

2009-06-16T09:58:00.000-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

This blog takes place on the back of the news story that around 500 women are been asked to have their Smear Tests taken again due to questions as to whether the Nurse was qualified to take the tests. This affected GP surgeries in Sheppey and Sittingbourne, Kent, over a two-year period from April 2007.

The reason is simple…I read this story in the media and had no real idea what a Smear test was or what was involved. Even though I had lived with a woman for over 26 years and have a teenage daughter. It is not that I am adverse to the details, is was more of a case that, well that’s their concern not mine. How wrong I was.

Now to us the blokes, there are certain aspects of a woman’s life that...well somehow a lot of men have a problem dealing with or are quite simply embarrassed.
Me, I have non of that, I am quite at home buying Tampax, Alldays or a bag of oven chips all without a blink of the eye.
Periods come naturally (yes of course they do) and PMT is taken in its stride……..But and again here’s the rub…When it comes to Smear Tests, ask most men and they will look at you blankly if you ask them what it is for and what it entails…

Sadly, most of the ones that do know with any great degree are those men who’s wives, partners or daughters who have had results they never ever wished for…..
My rough travels around the net have ascertained that approximately 5,000-6,000 lives are saved from the Smear Test each year through early diagnoses of Cervical Cancer (yes the dreaded “C” word)…So gents you may well be asking yourselves what is the Smear Test (Also known as the PAP Smear) for and why can it save the lives as stated..Ok first a few stats:-
The Department of Health recommends that women between the ages of 20 and 64 have routine cervical smears every three to five years as part of the NHS Screening Programme..

So, the bods in the know say that it should take place between the parameters given….Now why you ask??….The Smear Test involves either a Doctor or nurse taking a sample of cells from the Cervix (look it up if you don’t know).These are then smeared onto a glass slide and looked at through a microscope……So far nothing too complicated eh boys??

In many cases, if abnormal cells are found, they will return to normal on their own. However, if left untreated these same cells can also develop and become cancerous…Statistics gathered show that a woman who has a smear test every 5 years has the risk of Cervical Cancer cut by around 85%. Those who opt for every 3 years the reduction can be as high as 91%..Ideally every year would be good but as yet the NHS does not cater for this and for around £50-£75 a private test can be obtained.

I am not here to now go into great depth about whether this woman or that woman fits into the category for a smear test. Young ladies below 20 are still having the cells change and as such some tests may be inaccurate.
Neither, whether its good for the elderly, post hysterectomy etc…That is a minefield for a layman like me but questions should be asked of the GP as to when how etc. …Basically women should seek the advise and adhere to any course of action if deemed necessary.

Ok….so what does the smear test involve. Well firstly it is generally done by a female practitioner but not always. If a male is conducting the test then a female assistant will be present (If not the lady will scream for help or not depending on her disposition).The test date should ideally be arranged so that cells can be taken midway through the menstrual cycle (look it up boys)..24 hours prior to the test, no nookie (Sperm, spermicidal gel, and lubricants may make it difficult to get a good sample of cells).
Avoid creams (vaginal oestrogen cream for menopause symptoms).And no Tampons for a least 2 days prior to the test….This is why a mid cycle test is much easier to collect cells. Ok no great detail needed on the actual details of collection, suffice to say a speculum is inserted into the vagina holding the walls open so that a small brush or spatula can scrape a small sample of cells from the cervix. Some Doctors may also do a pelvic examination at the same time. This will examine the health of the uterus. This is known as a bi-manual exam because the doctor or nurse uses both hands to feel for any unusual lumps or bumps in the pelvic area.
Generally results take around 5/6 weeks if nothing is heard they should contact the GP and get confirmation in writing.

There are now advances in the tests and a new type called Liquid Based Cytology (LBC) has been shown to be more accurate. It will soon be readily available everywhere hopefully.

Should abnormality be present then the Specialist may investigate by looking at the Cervix with a microscope (Colposcopy) or remove a small amount of Cervical tissue (Biopsy). If the colposcopy or biopsy shows that the abnormal cells are all confined to surface skin, treatment may be given to you immediately. This treatment will be to destroy the cells of the affected and surrounding areas completely. Laser, freezing or an electric current can be used for this. Only a local anaesthetic is necessary. If the biopsy suggests that the cell changes may extend deeper into the skin, the management is different. It will mean admission to hospital, an anaesthetic and removal of part of the cervix. This operation is called a cone biopsy . If this shows that the changes are only on the surface, then no further treatment is needed. If the changes are deeper, then further surgery or radiotherapy might be recommended.

But on a lighter note, a positive smear does not mean cancer. It means only the possibility of cancer developing in the future. Any woman with a positive smear who follows the advice given should not get cancer of the cervix. So gents help the little lady get all the advice she needs and don’t panic !!.

Now, again I could go into such depths as to bore the pants off the guys reading this so I wont rant much more…This is more of a simple introduction to Smear test for the men folk…

But guys this test saves lives and you should know about it. Your little lady may require your support here ok??….Find out more. Speak to the little ladies and get in the know. This is not a joke and swallow your pride…

Understand thoroughly that this is an invasive test and any support you can give to them is worth it’s weight in gold…Talk to them and reassure them that if ever the results are not as wanted that you will always be there to support them no matter what…Discuss it with your partner…..Ok Job done…..NEXT TIME were talking about squeezing the BOLLOCKS once a week so one for the guys to think about.

A Fruit and Hazel Nut Case

2009-06-12T07:42:00.000-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

There are times that just for once you would wish a politician would have the strength of their convictions.

But alas it looks like we are going to have to wait another day......Dear Hazel has been to the confessional on her Ducati in full leathers and what do you know.....She has repented "Praise be to Jesus and thank yee lord".......What was your penance Ms Blears.....Saying four hail Browns and one hail Mandelson..........Now, being born with this cynical nature that my maker granted me, has it`s moments, this being one...I was under the impression that those who repented adhered to an undertaking as follows......

A Guide for Confession
The basic requirement for a good confession is to have the intention of returning to God like the "prodigal son" and to acknowledge our sins with true sorrow before the priest.

Does that therefore mean dear Hazel will be returning to the flock of Mr Browns cabinet......Don`t hold your breath.....I am sure that those sitting around Arthurs Table at No 10 are so enamoured at the timing of Ms Blears departure they are rolling in the aisle with laughter shouting "Lets have a whip round"(Why am I thinking of Caroline Flint just now )....

Ms Blears as the "prodigal daughter" somehow just aint right.....Though, we can`t always jump to conclusions, maybe this is not just a sleazy attempt to placate Gordon or his constant shadow Mandelson (He had to be there)..

It may well be a genuine pang of guilt that was so strong that it took over a week to write the speech...Maybe now she can wear another badge this time with "Row Row Row the Boat" engraved all over it...I understand that Gordon may wish to continue with the title of God but alas his predecessor already took it.But I am intrigued that a priest is needed for confession to carry weight......

Was Ms Blears in a cubicle with Baron Mandelson of Foy in the county of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the county of Durham???...I bet you would love to be a fly on that wall would you not.......

No ,this is a rather cheap attempt at trying to convince the electorate that all is forgiven and that her resignation was just a case of bad timing. That comments about Gordy`s YouTube attempt being a disaster were taken out of context.Or that wearing a brooch saying "Rocking the Boat" was just a Faux Pas......What makes this all a load of bollocks is the way in which this is so orchestrated...Ms Blears states "I genuinely thought I could go without it sparking off this huge firestorm."...Somehow "shitstorm".just sounds better!!!.....

You have got to be taking the piss here darling...You didn`t think!!!!..Please give us the little people(Sorry Hazel no offence meant to your diminuitive stature) a bit of credit.

Because dear Hazel, your actions were honest before the confession but have now become crass. Once you apologised or were coerced into apologising your crdibility went down the same drain as the Labour vote ........You knew exactly what you were doing and you did it.........

Then, when you realised that deselection was a strong possibility within your own constituency you returned to the brethren.......Your majority is very very thin at the moment and you know it.......Labourites loyal to Brown are going to hang you out to dry and parade your head on a spike as another Gordon experienced at Khartoum...You are on the brink of obscurity and you know it.....This last chance, last ditch attempt is purely to save your own neck and nothing to do with remorse,regret or any other synonym I can find.

All we need now is Caroline Flint to arrive at the big black door in a Novices gown (Not going there) and Purnell dressed as Friar Tuck swearing allegiance to the flock and rising at 4.00am to scrub the steps......This smacks of smarmy rotten politics through and through and I am ashamed to admit that in the big picture it will just get brushed under the carpet.....The piles on this one was were well and truly shagged.
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Blue Jokes, Red Bull shit.......

2009-06-11T04:57:00.000-07:00

https://twitter.com/Antno38

Ok as there seems to be a nice flurry of little snippets here and there I thought it might be better just to condense them into smaller bit size chunks as chocolate bar of variety.

Well what can we say.....Just when you thought that dear ole Mr Cameron had gotten his troops in order when true to form there is always someone to dampen the Party..Nick Gallagher Publications Officer for Blueprint, the Oxford University's Conservative Association magazine was reportedly asked for his most offensive joke......Well this dickhead without any thought for the repercussions of his actions decided to recount a nice story based on racial prejudiced stereotyopes...The joke (Please don`t be offended I didn`t tell it) went allegedly..

.What do you say when you see a television moving around in the dark?........ "Put it down, you n*****, or I'll shoot you."

Well that is a sure fire way to increase the minority vote for the Tory`s in this country....Brown on the ropes and you hang yourselves with stupidity....Two suspensions have followed thank God.....Isn`t it nice to see how our up and coming Oxbridge graduates and undergraduates perpetuate the idea that they are all a bunch of complete moronic genetalia.

Boris is Cool, I love my money and the trappings of wealth and "I can`t not vote for Labour"...There it is folks Lilly Allen is voting for Mr Brown because he is " A nice man".........Of course also doing her bit for the economy by spending her way out of recession. Nice if youv`e got the millions to do so.......Not many Labour voters can say that now can they.....
What is the matter with these individuals..One moment she is singing about the woes of not able to achieve orgasm through her boyfriends unfair and selfish sexual habits (only in song I might add) Then blimey in a flash putting the world to rights.

Apparently she has bought a stretch of beach in Jamaica and has a closet full of Chanel jackets..Nice Labour traits there I see......Nothing pisses me off more than "Champagne Socialists".....I am not leftist in any way, but I do admire those who through standing by their convictions gain respect for their beliefs whatever political persuasion they are.......But when I hear this crap from "Stars" telling us how they can put the world to rights and "feel for the underpriviledged" whilst spending more in an hour than some are able to afford in a year ..I get riled.......Not that I have any adversity to the money.

Don`t bullshit about how philanthropic you are when most days you cant remember your name.
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Twitpocalypse......The End is Nigh

2009-06-11T01:18:00.000-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

http://geekafterall.fr/la-fin-de-twitter-approche-cest-la-twitpocalypse_10062009.html

Ok now here is a very interesting proposition...Tomorrow the 12th of June will possibly be the end of TWITTER as we know it..I came across the very interesting WEB Site as linked above. Basically it explains in laymans (Idiot) terms that Twitter might go bang some time tomorrow ..The reasoning for this is Binary Code . I will try and explain in simple terms so please allow that I am also translating at the same time. Ok here goes......Every time a user posts a message on Twitter, it is registered with a Unique Identifying Reference...This identifier is for example found in the reference of the user.Every time a Tweet is made it carries a unique piece of code for that timeline etc. This code being Binary is made up of 1`s & 0`s...

In the case of Twitter they use 32 Bit Binary Code.This therefore only lends itself to a maximum number of 2 147 483 647 possible variations which in binary represents 01111111111111111111111111111111...Now it gets interesting..Twitter is rapidly approaching this maxium and is forecast to attain this sometime 12th June 2009.....The best case scenario is that Twitter will have bugs and problems. The worst is that Twitter just collapses under the pressure and stops working altogether (Gods Forbid).

As you are unable to pass the maximum number of possibilities under 32 bit, many many applications that use or are bolted on to Twitter may find that they have major problems as a result.....

Now the chances may be slim or even non existent and may be complete and utter bollocks. Though, and this is the point the mathematical theory is accurate. Hey this is a GEEK web page so I have a tendency to accept what they say as having some basis and foundation.....It would be interesting though to see if it materialises especially as this was anticipated in advance....

So fellow Twitterers say what you have to say today for the morrow may not be there. If all does go well and we are still around then you will just have to put up with another blog.

Follow the end of Twitter as it happens live( Is this exciting or what........http://www.twitpocalypse.com/

RMT A Refreshing Change

2009-06-10T06:35:00.000-07:00

https://twitter.com/Antno38

http://www.romneymarshtimes.com/

Ok....As I am residing in the beautiful Romney Marsh, I thought it might be ok for once not to scream and shout about things for a while.

I may kick a bit but hey Leopards can`t change all their spots in a day.

So as a change, I would like to let everyone be aware of a charming professional little site that brings a wealth of local matters to the communties of Kent.

Especially those of Ashford,Folkestone Dover,Romney Marsh and Hythe and even Rye.......The fact that Dymchurch where I am is not mentioned on their headers is in no way reason for me to be bitter IS IT?..I live in hope.

No the fact is it is a very well run local Website The Romney Marsh Times http://www.romneymarshtimes.com/ and as a fellow Twit or is that Twitterer https://twitter.com/rmtimes then it can`t be all bad.

I agree that once a week we see The Herald and other local rags that do in fact change their target readership depending on what areas you live in with varying frontpages etc....The overriding benefit of this site is simple. It is current and the updates are continuous...So if you want to know the know as it were, more or less as it happens, then you could do seriously worse.

I would expect, that as any business of this ilk, it depends on advertising revenue. It is to this end that I urge local companies to give it the support that it deserves. I feel more local enterprises should be involved with this and as such would allow for greater readership ergo a greater potential customer base for those that advertise. Benefits all round. If you Twitter then updates can be sent via the normal channels...Or better still subscribe.

It aims to be the leading Internet News site in Kent.and I really think it can.....It is fast professional and as good as anything in the County....If those with any business sense take a good hard look then the potential is enormous...The advertising generates the sales for business the revenus increases the power of the site, the site generates more revenue for the business and Bingo "Housey Housey", quids in all round.

Now come on, it didn`t take much grey matter to work that one out. It covers all manner of topical news, with articles that are at times leisurely as need be, but also clarity and depth on subjects that require more attention to detail. It does what it says on the tin by covering business, politics, entertainment & lifestyle with news for Kent especially in the areas mentioned

Personally I trawl the net finding weird and wonderful sites all the time. Just sometimes you find the odd one that deserves a big pat on the back and full support.

I have no affiliation with the site at all being simply just a bod ,who living within the RMT catchment area appreciates the work put into running the site and uses it on a regular basis.

Thank you boys and girls...(Does Dymchurch get in on the header now.? Cheques in the post.)

Letting go and Moving on.......

2009-06-08T23:41:00.000-07:00

https://twitter.com/Antno38

For those that have graciously followed my little blog I thank you profusely. Whereas I would normally have a little rant about the politics of the Left, as promised I will rant about other things.

As most of you who have communicated with me on Twitter will be aware, My long time partner and confidante Colette left the family home the early part of May this year. At present my daughter and I are coming to terms with this as best we can.

I am sure that many others will understand what we are going through, though at this moment it feels as if it is only happening to us. My rant today is basically simple.

"Why do we as humans take this risk of giving ourselves to another, only to find after a lifetime of commitment total misery."

The consequences are devastating for all those touched by this madness. We learn and get taught at school,university and other educational institutions many cultural ideas. Never was it taught that in creating a strong long term relationship you are in effect also creating a long term time bomb.

For those lucky enough to survive without split, the bomb just diffuses. For those that do not, every year. every month, ever hour increases the magnitude of the explosion when it comes.

Risk analysis is essential in business,commerce and all manner of things within our normal lives.

We ascertain the potential problems,cover against them and take pride in doing so.

I buy a house, I insure against flood,accidental damage and even the contents within it......How come then ,that none of the protections are applied to long term relationships.?

Is it that there are no protections or is it a simple flaw within our nature?. I can understand letting go if someone is within a violent relationship,either emotionally or physically.Even for example where adultery or betrayal takes place;although some aspects can be worked out and forgiveness shown. But even then, they never went into that relationship knowing this, only finding out later.

They must have had at some stage a position of love and trust. The reason for the split maybe different but the emotions that entangled them at the start are pretty much constant for all of us.

I am not here to pontificate or be some quasi agony aunt. Just maybe looking for a little light upon my own position.I am hurt,betrayed and the large empty void that is left is agonising sometimes and the pain felt so distressing as to be just vile. Mornings are really dire with my stomach nauseous on an devastating level.

I watch my daughter with total admiration at how she has coped and try whenever possible not to openly grieve in front of her. Alas I fail more than I would wish. I dont apologise for that in the sense that I am not allowed to, more that I am worried whether it may have a negative effect. Apparently it can be a good thing to at least acknowledge to a child that you really did love their mother.Which of course I did...Colette was my world, I adored her totally. Maybe too much, given how I feel at this moment. Though this helps children alleviate any doubts as to whether they had any resposibility for the split.Which of course she had absolutely none.

My daughter and I are aware and experienced in this position. Experience no child should have to undertake....we both had to endure it once before when she was only 8. Raising an 8 year old brought its own problems and always great joy but the same pain of separation, just under different conditions.....

Thats my point I suppose.I was badly hurt once and even so, almost willingly lined myself up to let it happen again..But I trusted the bond and word of another.....And sure enough it did. Albeit 9 years later..Does that make me a fool or just unlucky or a combination of the two...Either way it doesn`t really change the way I feel right now......

I would never be so insensitive or ungentlemanly to cover the aspects of our separation as the details are not openly known as yet...In addition Colette is unable to defend herslf on here, so less said the better.

No, I cannot understand why we are so unprepared for this situation we put ourselves into.

Never knowing what we are going to experience later....As said, we buy a house we check every bit of the small print. We buy a car we check the roadworthiness...We invest in another person with much greater risk for disaster yet we do so without any validation at all....Now how on earth does that make sense?

The only conclusion that gives me hope for the future is based upon the notion that in the end one idea stands out.

"Divorce or separation never takes place in a good relationship even if you thought it was". Finally realising that the person who left you was never the person who you really needed to be with. If so, why would they have inflicted so much sorrow and pain upon you ?

If I can cling to that belief then I can surely move on with a modicum of confidence.....The belief that what has happened, was maybe for the best.

That once the sun starts to shine again and it will. It would be with someone that would never in their wildest dreams, think of imparting such anguish upon us. The reason is simple,because they cared enough for who I was.

Is that not in itself, well worth waiting for??
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Blunkett.You Just Gotta Love This!!!!!!

2009-06-08T08:36:00.000-07:00

https://twitter.com/Antno38

Well what can I say.Just when I thought that was it for the day when Hey Presto......news that whatever you may think is going to make you smile.......

I just heard that the all time philanderer and touchy feely guy David Blunkett is recovering from cow attack...Now I must add that at first I was sceptical....

It had to have been a few days ago when caroline Flint had charged out of the cabinet. When Blunkett had taken a wrong turn as Sadie smelled the No 10 biscuits(Claimed for 6 times in error of course)

The story goes that whilst on a hiking trip in the Peak District with his fiancee, GP Margaret Williams..(Yeah I bet ) the mad cow attacked (No not Flint) But no, apparently the cow (No not Flint) had charged at Sadie his dog. Well that is what he is saying.....It was female had a massive tongue....had the biggest pair of tits on it he had ever felt so over he went.The cow spurned his advances(No not Flint) and Bingo.Blame the dog.

It is nice to know that some things in life can be amusing.....I wish Mr Blunkett a speedy recovery and pray that the cow(Not Flint) will be receiving medical assistance for the trauma she has suffered. Sadie is still running across the Peak District as we speak...

Poor Poor Children For That Is What They Were

2009-06-08T08:06:00.001-07:00

https://twitter.com/Antno38

Ok this is not so much a rant as more of a follow up to my previous blog concerning the poor girl who with child was insanely murdered.

It seems, although as yet unproven, that a 53 year old man has been arrested in connection with the attack.....

If it does indeed turn out to be the individual then once again we can only look upon this incident with pure horror. The fact that an innocent person can so casually have their life removed in such a pointless action makes a statement of "Safer Streets" of this goverment meaningless....

Yes, yes ,yes ,I understand that you cannot blame the incumbent PM for all the nasty things that go on in this country......Not all, that is for sure.......Though there has been a steady but very positive decline in social standards in this country over the last decade or so.....I`ve heard the speeches referring to "Abolition of Child Poverty"...It is this expanding division between rich and poor that is creating a physical and financial breakdown.......The poorer members of our society are undernourished, neglected and left to their own devices for the most part..teenage pregnacy is on the increase as we all know and crime is rising.....The country has areas in major cities that some won`t dare to enter.Not for fear of abuse or worse but certainty of the same......Gangs become the only "Family" that the young can confide in...They learn from an early age...too young in many cases..They grow up only knowing this way of life.....

I dont have the answers as I dont have the power.If I had the power though Mr Brown I would ensure that parents take responsibility for their offspring until adult....I would ensure that all educational facilities that children enter have the necessity and the means to hold both themselves, the parents and the Government of the day to account for the failings in this subject.

Let them be taught to lie and they will lie. Let them be taught how to steal and they will steal....Teach them to respect society and those within it and they will become solid foundations within that society. Then and only then will they pass down this knowledge to their own. We are not trying to teach old dogs new tricks, just children how to grow up without fearing that they need a gun or a knife to feel safe.

Mother-To-Be. Victim Of Us All

2009-06-08T03:12:00.001-07:00

https://twitter.com/Antno38

One of the things that I find the most disturbing about this country at present is the continual rise in crime without any sense that it is under control.
All parties chipping in with varying statistics each trying to outdo the other. Each using a different set of figures to base their own points of view. The fact is Lord Brown sorry Mr Brown your Britain is becoming a nasty place to live in. I am not some scaremonger, just average Joe trying to keep his daughter safe and sound in what is becoming a very hostile environment.We hear all the time from our Lords and Masters dressed in red that everything is ok and that we need not worry the country is safe in their hands.

Today I read of the most appalling tragedy that has befallen a young mother to be at the hands of a ruthless, meaningless attack by a knifeman/woman. I have to use the option that the knife was used by either sex as that is now the way things are around us. What on earth would possess someone to do that in what apparently is an unprovoked random attack. Two lives have been lost for absolutely nothing.An unborn baby murdered without ever taking the first breath. I know that these things happen all over the world and in cases the use of far greater brutality is used.......But please for the love of your God whom so ever that may be.....This is supposedly an advanced culture where it is possible to walk the streets without fear of attack or brutality...

Nothing can bring back the life to this poor girl and her unborn......I would not be so crass as to say that I feel the grief of the family at this moment.I have absolutely no idea suffice to say it must be horrendous.I hope and pray that I would never have to find out.

Why the rant? Simple, when Blair and his nepotism came to power and for this duration 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007 this country was filled with children of the ages 6-11......These children for the most part were not naturally rude,beligerent or vicious.Had not thought about robbery,alcohol, underage sex,drug taking or other vices associated with the wrong side of the adult population. They were permitted to be like this not only by their parents (cant blame Blair for everything) but by the government of the day (That bit is Blairs fault).These young primary school children are now the ones that commit the most appalling damage to our communities.These are the late teenagers that were young children entrusted to Blair. He messed up the right of teachers and school to discipline the unruly pupils. Too bloody worried it might affect their inner self....Absolute Bollocks.....children at that age just try and get away with what they can when they can and thats it.Let them do it and all hell will break loose.

They needed boundaries and he gave them SATS.Save Inner well being for aged tree huggers.We are talking about the welfare of our children. They learn by example and they had a government found wanting. These pompous decrepit old fools, looking down from their privileged positions have no idea what is happening around them. Blairs lack of investment in the Police, local communites,schooling and education has let these children down.His policies to make headlines ruled.Minority groups got the money with real choices never made. His mistakes which were not exactly hard to foresee will cost this country dear until one day; and it will come that the youth of today become parents themselves and they in turn have to be on the receiving end of uncontrolled youth. Once they taste this bitterness they have created then maybe just maybe we shall recontrol the streets...Until this is addressed as the most urgent problem in the country today we are sinking at an alarming rate. The youth are everybody`s future.They run amok now.....The country as a whole is next....

We are too late to save the life of this poor girl and her unborn child.....Maybe just maybe the powers that be will think a little harder about trying to prevent the next.Save the children and social cost will drop......Drug use,alcohol abuse and many many other crimes will be reduced as a consequence.This in turn allows greater finance for the Police(Real Police not the "Specials" what an oxymoron) which in turn creates a safer society. It is not rocket science just a little common sense.....Come on you boys and girls in the House.You must be able to do better than this???

Oh I love Election Results..Don`t you

2009-06-08T00:06:00.000-07:00

https://twitter.com/Antno38

Well, there I was lying in bed this morning thinking the sun is out the birds are a twittering and all in all in could be a nice day.As I have made clear I am not a great lover of the current government and in truth I should not be bothered by the European Election results....But heres the funny thing.I am actually getting to feel some sympathy for Lord Brown sorry Mr Brown.

Not in his worst nightmares could he have seen all this crap heading his way. Mandelson probably, hence the reason he never told Gordy. He has already booked his passage on another ship thats for sure. There you are going for a nice spot of food with the lovely Sarah hoping that in the morning everything will be a bit nicer for you. You wake up,run through the normal ablutions open the curtains and find your whole world has collapsed around your easr. Tory`s in front, UKIP in second and Labour struggling to hold onto their place. BNP with two seats .Ok the Lib Dem`s have lost as well but hey nothing new there then. In Wales you have been trounced and guess what you have to speak to the Labour party tonight. Gordy.......it is not going to be a nice day..Oh and in addition, every political punter in the country is going to dissect you inch by inch column by column .

Sorry old boy but today is going to be shitty no matter what you do. Like it or not the next week is not going to be pretty. I could fill volumes about my feelings to this policy or that policy but given the butt kicking your going to get today it`s pointless. Gordy I wish you well as there ar somethings even those politicians that fall in the wrong party should not have to undertake. Your own backbenchers will feast on your entrails as they see their own necks getting stretched. But please accept my heartfelt empathy for your predicament..........

But, and there is always light at the end of the tunnel.When you stroll into No10 you can rest assured that your bestest buddy Peter will be there to assist.That catfish grin to welcome you and a friendly arm upon your shoulder(Look for the dagger hidden beneath the cloak). I am sure that if ever you feel the need to maybe relinquish the reins a little,or pass the helm to another.Dear Peter will be there to assist in the only way he knows how.

With a single graceful push he will send you on your way waving his goodbyes as you fall. "Never mind Prime Minister" he says "you can always come back again...I did."

Can The Khan..."He Khan do it"

2009-06-07T13:47:00.000-07:00

https://twitter.com/Antno38

Sadiq Khan has now been promoted to Minister of State For Transport. Now I have no problems whatsoever with this promotion and I hope that although he resides in a Government that I have no time for, he may do well.

But here is the reasoning for my little rant. First there seems to be some details that suddenly seem to be forgotten by those that now want him to assist them.

As The SUN ( The Labour Foghorn) spent so much time detailing in their headlines "BUGGING scandal MP Sadiq Khan was first probed by security services over his association with a 9/11 terrorist"...It seemed that his association with some individuals was frowned upon from up on high. Yes you Mr Jack Straw.Were you not a little "concerned" shall we say at the people that Mr Khan was frequenting with. Was not the House a little annoyed that they had become estranged over this matter. "Tory MPs yesterday voiced fury that Mr Straw had not told the Commons the full story."

Now I am not in any way implying anything onerous with regards to Mr Khan. In fact good luck to you sir. My rant is more about why now.......I am a cynic by nature..Even before my partner of 26 years walked out twice on my daughter and myself (Sorry but I am so bitter). When we trusted her with all our emotions.....she crushed them like ice in a cocktail.(sorry separate Rant).....I look straight through stories,comments words.....I was a cynic long before she made me look at myself in a new light.

I would like to think that Mr Khan got his position based upon trust and ability to do the job.I do so hope so....But I am so used to watching this underhand little turd of a government always trying to manipulate the PR bollocks........Please Mr Khan prove to the good people of this Country (If You are still in power) that Lord Brown sorry Mr Brown that you are more than a "Flint" syndrome of window dressing.

I hated the way in which automatically you were posted as "The most senior Muslim in Government)..I could not give a toss whether you are Hindi,Muslim,Roman Catholic,Jesuit,Bhuddist or for that matter any other religion that may exist.......You should not be judged on what you believe only on how you serve the people as that is what you were elected for....I feel that based upon past performance this may be the case through no fault of your own.......Please, prove me but more importantly your Masters that you are more than "Window Dressing". I fear you may well never get the chance due to your Masters deficiencies...

Bastard Through And Through

2009-06-07T05:48:00.000-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

OH MR FALCONER WHAT DO YOU DO

YOU STABBED YOUR LEADER IN THE BACK

YOU BASTARD THROUGH AND THROUGH

WE THOUGHT YOU WERE A LORD AND THAT YOU WOULD KINDLY ACT AS SUCH

BUT ALL YOU DID YOU BASTARD

WAS KICK HIM IN THE CRUTCH

NOW YOU JOIN THE RANKS OF ALL

THE SHITS THAT RAN AWAY

BUT MAYBE IF THE GODS LOOK DOWN

OLD BROWN WILL GET HIS WAY

MANDY`S AT THE HELM RIGHT NOW

TO STEER THIS SHIP TO PORT

BUT HE`S ANOTHER BASTARD TO SELL THE PM SHORT

SO ALL YOU NASTY F***ERS WHO LEFT HIM THERE TO DIE

REMEMBER WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN WHEN YOU GO INTO THE SKY

YOU FLOAT UP TO THE SKIES AT THE PEARLY GATES YOU GO

BUT DEAR OLD BROWN IN STOMPING ON YOUR GRAVES WAY DOWN BELOW

THERE IS A MORAL TO THIS LITTLE TALE

THAT YOU BASTARDS SHOULD CLEARLY LEARN

GORDON BEING A GODLY MAN WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOU BURN.

SO AS ONE MORNING, YOU ENTER TO THE HOUSE

NOT A MURMUR HEARD IT`S QUIET AS A MOUSE

IF SOMETHING`S A BURNING OR A FIRE THAT YOU SMELL

NO NEED TO WORRY GREATLY, ITS MANDY COME FROM HELL

THE RATS ARE LEAVING MR BROWN

TO SUFFER WHATS IN STORE

BUT MANDY`S AT THE HELM DEAR FRIENDS

COULD YOU REALLY ASK FOR MORE

NO DROP OF PAINT BE THROWN TODAY

NO HECKLES FROM THE SIDE

JUST DEAR OLD MR MANDELSON WITH A GRIN NIGH SIX FEET WIDE

i LOVE YOU REALLY MR BROWN

AS HIS REFLECTION DISAPPEARS

ILL DO MY BEST TO PROTECT YOU

ILL HARBOUR YOU FROM FEARS

BUT TRUTH BE KNOWN AND STORY TOLD

THAT MANDYS PLOT HAS GOTTEN GRIT

SO TELL THIS NASTY PIECE OF CRAP

"YOU REALLY ARE A SHIT"

Rubbing Flint To Get Sparks Flying

2009-06-07T01:45:00.000-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

"FLINT GETS THE SPARKS FLYING FOR ME"

Now whatever you say about the branding of a woman or women for that matter.As in the case of Blairs Babes or any other that spring to mind.You have to agree that there are some that do stand out from the others. No doubt without doubt from my point of view it is purely macho.

I came across a good blog from Little Miss Whitehall which although I did not totally agree with the sentiments (That Caroline was just PMT about not getting promoted or words to that effect) It was then that it hit me.....Actually Miss Flint is a very horny,sexy woman who would probably get my heart rate well over the 80% max which for my age (which is around 140 bpm) My comment about her in reply to the Blog was a little different.

I would never vote for her but I must admit that I do find her sexy in a very vague "tie me up,whip me,smother my buttocks with baby oil and let me nuzzle my face in your warmly bossooms" sort of way..But only in a passing thought of course.

That pretty much sums it up. She may well be a bitch or a cow or a beautiful woman with the family values and culinary skills to match my appetite. She may well be Jerry hall`s "Whore in the bedroom" (I so have some images of that..please don`t press me) but in effect it is quite simply. Visually she is sensual and dangerous. A combination that can be most alluring and off putting but compulsive.

Now I hear you screaming "I thought your blog was for ranting". Well I am...I am totally pissed off that I will never ever get the chance to "Nuzzle my face within those warmly bossooms"

"Sexist" totally, "rude" totally "very much treating someone as window dressing" for sure and for me "Bloody frustrating".......Now why can`t I rant about that. I adore women. Caroline just happens to be one that catches both my eye and my innermost desires.Only a few have ever done that.

Mandy Oh Mandy Oh Mandy

2009-06-07T00:56:00.001-07:00

http://twitter.com/Antno38

"Well you came and you gave without taking but I sent you away, oh Mandy

Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking I need you today, oh Mandy"

Hey old Barry Manilow got this one right.There was me yesterday lauding the merits of having Mr Mandelson as a friend when, HELLO an email he sent about Lord Brown sorry Mr Brown detailing his innermost thoughts about our Lord and Master (should that be our Mr and Master) ends up in general circulation. Now what lovely heart warming comments doth he announce about his "friend".

Well, shall we have a snippet to read :- "He is a self-conscious person, physically and emotionally. He is not as comfortable with his own skin as Tony (Blair) was (is). A new public persona cannot be glued on to him."

Now under normal cicumstance the fact that a PM may be a little self conscious is in all senses not a bad thing. At least vanity is taken out of the equation.Blair was a vain as one could be .He loved the lights the camera and whatever action he could get,(No Cherie darling not you). But "....emotionally self conscious" that raises the odds a little. The idea that an emotionally unstable PM has his finger on the the BIG BOMB then I am starting to look at lead undies to protect the jewels, albeit little ones.

I am sorry Lord Brown sorry Mr Brown but your party in starting the ball rolling have handed "Game Set and Match" (Len Deighton trilogy of same name well worth reading) to anybody who wishes to jump aboard.

You can be disgruntled Labour voters,Tory,Lib Dem,UKIP,BNP, Greens or simply apathetic.Everyone is having a go at Lord Brown sorry Mr Brown.When you have no friends on the Back Benches the Front Benches (well 1 or 2 maybe) nor anywhere else in the House then it is time to withdraw with grace. Whether Lord Brown sorry Mr Brown will take note is a different matter...This is to follow closely given the European voting results will be in this evening. Oh to be a fly on the walls of the Downing Street corridors.

Though something does not quite ring totally true..Mandelson has of course burnt his bridges with anyone else within the Labour Party.This weazle like character has burrowed his pincers into the walls of power once again and will not relinquish them without pulling and screaming.Fingernails will be pulled clean before he lets go. If he is planning the downfall of Mr Brown sorry Lord Brown (even I am confused now) then to what value does he see. If Labour go down the pan what happens to Mandy. Maybe he will go back to Tony and get a job in Europe.(word has it that Blair is vying for the job of Pope.Cherie wants to redesign the clothing range and Tony wants to allow 45mins for praying per day only.GOSH He just loves that number does he not).

No, I fear that dear Mandy has another agenda here and as yet nothing is that clear as he doth play cards close to his chest.Maybe he has already arranged another ship to which he can scuttle when his existing captains (good no other name this time) ship.I thought only rats changed ship, oh yes I got that right then.

This man will only act when he has a pretty good idea of what is happening and his new future assured.

Mr Brown,Lord Brown or Captain "Keep your friends close but my friend keep Mandelson even closer". Brutus is at work methinks.....

A Bottled Brown

2009-06-06T10:40:00.001-07:00

Margaret Mountford`s Pyramid Scheming

Well well well.......Is this catching or what ...Just when we think that Blairs Babes are the only ones leaving the fold due to window dressing, when dear Mr Sugar, sorry Lord Sugar has his "Sidekick" leaving for work on manuscrpits from Egyptian times......Now blame me for being a cynic but is that no coincidence. After all, poor Margaret Mountford wasn`t offered a positon in Browns group of alumni either. But dear old Mr Sugar,damn sorry Lord Sugar gets his peerage and a job all in one......Now cronyism is not a word I would use lightly,well only in this case but the whiff of nepotism is rife..
The strange thing about this, albeit that it may be just coincidence, is that our Mr Sugar sorry Lord Sugar (Why does that sound like a character from a childrens story book) has the notoriety of firing people.
What a shame that our beloved Lord Brown sorry Mr Brown hasn`t got the same gonads placed firmly between his thighs....Mr darling got you pegged straight away..."Fire me you bastard and I will hang you out to dry like some over bloodied haggis"...Which in all probability is something along the lines of what happened.("maybe" I say in case the lawyers are a watching)

Bad judgement again Mr Brown??.....Lord Sugar, Al to his mates, goes from an overbearing egotist enjoying his own self a little to much methinks, to a position of apparent strength as "Enterprise Tsar."
Now forgive me for saying so but I firmly believed that this position was already held by Captain T Kirk or am I losing the plot somewhere. As I didn`t hear his name in the re-shuffle I presumed he still was.

But if Mr Sugar, sorry Lord Sugar, or Al to his mates can bring something to the table then fine. I just get this toffee in my mouth again and that is so hard to swallow.

"Come on Down Mr Gameshow"

2009-06-06T04:02:00.001-07:00

Ok......Heres what I just can`t seem to get my pearly whites around....If as dear Annie has said that Michael Howard does "Have something of the night about him" why oh why oh why does he not have the bite to match.....

Look Michael, quite frankly I couldn`t give a toss about the gardening expenses etc. If any person in this country had a job where they were freely allowed to claim all that you lot have been able to;they, and myself included would probably have had a few receipts submitted. Forget morals this is about putting bread or in some MP`s case, cake on the table...We are probably just jealous that most of the claims have been published by the very capable Telegraph but during a recession. It just leaves a taint in the palette.

Though to get back to my main point. Labour are reeling and the pathetic diatribe spewing forth from Conservative Central is utterly incontinent. The speeches are lethargic, regurgitated and "so last year"...They have the chance not just to land points but to get in the uppercut and floor Labout once and for all.....
What do we get....Dear David giving a rather limp speech that at best was last weeks in anagram format or at worst downright embarrassing.Waving a few soggy wrists in the air flanked by some rather strange individuals holding placards announcing "Conservative for Change".......You just answered Browns prayers.....There is plenty of time for triumphalism in a years time.Now you need to be seen as credible and running around like some game show contestant is not going to do it...This "Come on down" approach may hold sway with fanatical staunch Blues but it is not they from whom you seek votes...

Look, just get on with policy and a suitable agenda for the country,hold your aim and fire when you see the whites of Mr Browns eyes...They are completely shut in prayer for hope of saviour at the moment.....They will open again shortly when reality hits home.....Then and only then will you see the target.......It is yours for the taking just let patience be your guide and not game show politics.

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Many thanks speak soon

Anthony Stevens

My Musing Medley

2009-06-06T02:05:00.000-07:00

Mrs Kinnock in the Cabinet validates Caroline Flint `s point of view..Out with the dressing,in with the gravy trainer!

Now we have Mr Sugar (treacle himself), with the thick syrup of Mandelson and hey presto toffee...Funny how that just sticks in the mouth!!

Did Mandelson just visit his witch doctor again and foresee this in advance.Probably, but hey he`s Mr Browns buddy right? Bestest friends !

Next time someone translates Mitterands speech about the Iraq war. Do it properly..and don`t bullshit the British public OK I saw it live..

Blairs eyes lit up.."Tell Joe Public France has scuppered Second Resolution"..I know it`s an old chestnut to some but bullshit is bullshit.

Mandelson is so tight within Browns inner circle (No euphemisms intended, well maybe a few) you can see the strings being pulled.

Brown really is a netted Pollack.Rises to the top where the swim bladder fails..It`s battered served on a plate,lying there floundering as its already had its chips. Tartare Mr Brown

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Many thanks speak soon

Anthony Stevens